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Moving

My mother is having her knee replaced this summer. She's finally to the point where the gimping and resultant hip pain have forced her into a corner and she's taking the surgery as a way out. I'm really hoping that this works for her - at this point she isn't able to go up the stairs in the house reliably or even sit for long periods of time. I'm really hoping that she hasn't done any permanent damage to her hip while compensating for the knee.

This is one of my major motivators for getting back into shape. I know that I've inherited a lot of the physical quirks from her family and I've managed to injure both of my knees in sports of one sort or another. Mom's initial injury resulted in the loss of cartilage in her knee; both of mine pop and hurt if I'm not careful with my activity level. I'm fairly certain that her increased weight as the pain got worse only exacerbated things and culminated in this surgery.

As I've noticed some weight gain and I'm currently doing physical therapy for a slight case of scoliosis, I figure I'd better get on with the rest of the taking care of myself bit. I've started running and am actually considering weight training (if I can ever seem to make it to the gym). I've even come to the point where I look forward to running on a regular basis, which is a major victory for me. Running for the sake of running has never been something that I'd been interested in, I was always far more interested in an active sport such as soccer or basketball.

This desire to retain all of the pieces I was born with and not need to replace them with artificial parts has brought up some interesting stuff. I'm more motivated to get up and go, more interested in taking the small steps that will get me to where I want to be. Willpower has never been my strong suit, my rebelliousness gets in the way of making any real progress. Telling myself I can't have something means that I want it more, but deciding I don't want it works even though it's harder to get there. But bit by bit I'm deciding I don't want things: high fructose corn syrup, sugar, lots of carbs, extra fat. I'm finally figuring enough out about my psyche to allow me to be motivated to make the changes in my life to accommodate physical fitness and actually be excited about it.

I find it interesting that it takes something drastic like this to really light the fire in me to get going. Changing jeans sizes had a little impact, but I'm really more worried about strength and girth than actual poundage. So jeans size isn't a good indicator and my hindbrain seems to know that. But what I'm hoping that that this is the crack in the door that I really need to get going and make other changes. We'll see, but I'm certainly not holding my breath.

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