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I find myself being a bad feminist occasionally. At least I'm not alone there.

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I'm a feminist, but not everything I do is a specifically feminist act. I'm okay with that. I felt weird about changing my name when I got married, after I read that nine out of ten women in America still do so. That ratio is flipped in my peer group, so I was comfortable seeing it as a free choice. But after reading so much about people who just didn't think about it, or whose husbands 'insisted'... that makes me feel creepy (even though I felt no such pressure personally, and really wasn't even aware of the general cultural atmosphere, living in my little liberal bubble).

Exactly. It's not like we live without context. I think future generations will have it easier (at least I hope so), but there's still so much weirdness out there. I have to say though that it bugs the bejeezus out of me when people assume my husband and I have the same last name. But I think that's more about people attempting to pretend a familiarity where there just isn't one and using their crappy assumptions to get there. Didn't the part where cashiers address you by the name on your credit card go out of fashion?

And there's my Friday afternoon rant. :)

I like it when cashiers address me by the name on my credit card, it is, after all, my name. Even when my hubby is there - they address me. "Thank you for shopping at QFC Ms. Sernett." They never assume the guy I'm with is my husband (even though we have matching wedding bands) and they never assume I'm a Mrs. (b/c honestly, I prefer Ms. a lot!)

That NEVER happens to me, it's always Mrs. Something or he's Mr. Something (where Something is always wrong). It makes me very sad, but I never have enough energy to correct it. That may be where the real problem is.

I'm a bad feminist too...

It's like loving trashy TV, right?

I'm not a bad feminist. I'm just not as active as some folks. It's like saying you're a bad liberal because you didn't about some horribly conservative policy that was passed in some state or country that you don't live in.

Sometimes, in my life, I just don't care to look at my actions and ask myself: did I do that b/c I wanted to or b/c society told me to through a series of subtle communications that began when I was in the womb and continue through to today? If it's the latter, I must change my behavior - even if I do actually like what I'm doing.

I'm sorry but there lies self-hate and maddness and that is not what I ultimately thing the feminist movement is all about!

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