August 12th, 2003

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In response to kitiara's post about relationships and the stress of anticipation vs. trying to find reality and balance expectation:
I completely understand that feeling, in fact the husband and I went through a very similar circumstance. Knowing that we wanted to be together in the short term was easy; we were nearly identical and what a spark! But the longer term was much more difficult. I knew early on what I wanted, I've been around the block enough times to know what I want and need. He'd been hurt early and hadn't a lot of experience in dating and I knew it. We had one disastrous conversation early on about long-term expectations. Boy was that a mess.

So I kept my mouth shut, hoping desperately that he'd decide our relationship might go in the direction I wanted it to. But of course we couldn't talk about it. So I spent about 9 months or so trying to pretend that I wasn't hoping but unable to help myself. It was torture, but it certainly made for interesting times. Never a dull moment. And I wouldn't trade it for the world. I learned more about each of us, separate and together, in that time than I would have if we'd known where it was going.
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Got a lot of writing done yesterday in addition to typing out the first few pages. Needs a lot of work, but then it's a first draft. All firsts need a lot of work.
  • Current Mood
    accomplished accomplished
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What the...?

My bank is sending me a package. It requires a signature for delivery. I have not requested anything from them, nor have they notified me that anything was amiss. Is it a belated toaster for opening an account? Any ideas on what they'd be sending?
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It's sunny outside and I'm trapped in here waiting for the UPS man. This package had better be something good.
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    annoyed annoyed