savannah (onsafari) wrote,


I think about moving a lot. I need a bigger house, now. Not later, when I can afford it, but now. I have too much stuff. Typing that out, it sounds very materialistic. But it's not as bad as all that. Sure, I'm spoiled. I spoil myself. In fact, I'm drinking designer coffee while sitting here. But really, what person in the US with an internet connection isn't? I can even afford the luxury of self analysis.

OK, digression aside, I want a bigger house. Most of the stuff I have serves a purpose. If it didn't, I've already gotten rid of it, passed it on to someone who can use it and will appreciate it. Sure, I have a guest room, with an extra bed and closet. The closet is full of stuff that gets used on a regular basis, the bed to ensure that when someone visits or is too tired to get home, they've got somewhere to sleep. We use every corner of this house. We don't store extra food, we don't waste space. In fact, I am so good at using it efficiently that no one else can put things away; there just isn't any room for error. I suppose we could limit ourselves to activities that use only the materials we have, but what sense does that make? Where's the fun and growth in that?

So, bigger house. But I want other things too, not just more rooms and more storage. I want a large plot of land. And with all my heart and soul I want to live next to the ocean. I want it to lull me to sleep at night, to comfort me when I'm sad, to rage against me when the storms whip it into a frenzy.

I don't know when we will be able to afford these things. I seem to have set my cap somewhere in the future when this dream is a reality and am stuck in the present trying to make do until I can get there. The plans are in motion, the wheels are turning, trying to get there, spinning against the dirt. I just need some gravel to stick in front of them to pop out of this rut.
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