savannah (onsafari) wrote,

I have discovered the cause of my writers block. I'm afraid of finishing my book. There are a lot of things that come with finishing the book that scare me. I have to try to sell it, someone will tell me if they like it or not, people will criticize. Basically, my dream of being a writer will die. I will either *be* a writer, or *not* be a writer. As long as its just a dream, there's no risk, no exposure. But the doing, thats a whole different story.

But I've decided that I'm not going to let this deter me. It's a loss in a way, a loss of the daydreams and fantasies about how wonderful writing would be. This allows me to have a day job to complain about and have something to hang my hat on at the end of the day. But right now, right here, I would rather hang my hat on being a writer. Allowing myself to say that I've written a novel, even if it's bad, is the next dream. I want to say that I did it, even when it scared me.
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