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Bad employee!

I just painted my nails at work. They're the color "Tarnished Spoons" now.

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And you were smacking your gum at the same time, right?

No, I only eat and chew gum at the same time.

Yeah. That's gross. Especially when you're eating Butterfinger mini-bars and drinking Diet Coke with Lime at the same time. Dude. Does your mouth have different compartments, like a cow's multiple stomachs or something?

Yep. I'm segmented like a bug.

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