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I'm trying really hard not to drop into a funk. OK, I'm not trying as hard as I should, but I'm trying a little bit. I really want to quit my job today and I'm really sad and frustrated. I've finally put my finger on the point of my job issues. Of course it doesn't help any that I'm obsessed with the idea that "you can have happiness or power but not both."

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Ah-ha. That totally depends on your definition of power, doesn't it? I mean, if power makes you happy, then you should be thrilled, no?

But then, there's the whole 'family, husband, house, projects, books' etc. definition of happy. And I think, as terrible as it sounds, all women and many men at some point have to make a choice between their home life and their career. Because no - you can't have both a fabulous home and enriching private life as well as a demanding, high powered job. Not unless you hire others to perform those tasks for you and then where is the fulfillment in that?

But once you figure out which thing calls to you more, you really can end up at peace, fwiw.

That's what I'm struggling with right now. I want the home life. I don't care about work, it's just not fulfilling me in the way that working on my house or building things for home does. But trying to find the balance is making things tough. The things I want to do to make my home lif fulfilling require money, and not working doesn't give me that. Balance. I'm going to find it soon.

It doesn't mean don't work at all. It means find the right kind of job. I'm still in my area of expertise with this job, but I don't have the same kinds of pressures and stressors that I had in any of my old jobs. I took a pay cut, but I had to decide that the money was less important than the time. Eventually, I hope the money will come back . . .at least to a certain degree.

I'm not lloking all or nothing yet, but I'm struggling with how many hours are too many. And at this point, 40 seems to be too many unless I find my dream job. Which doesn't seem likely as I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up.

But I'm branching out, trying to look at things that will let me work for the kind of company I can stand with hours that make my goals for the future doable. There are a lot of variables in the equation right now, I'm working on reducing them one at a time.

All or nothing would be really hard.

So really, is it less about the hours and more about the job itself and it's eating of your brain? 'Cause that sounds like jobswitch time to me.

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